When my kids were little and they said they hated me I would respond with "then that means I am doing my job well".
Fast forward 10 years, what do you say when they say that you are crazy?
The same thing, I guess. Even though I may seem like a crazed overprotective mother, I am simply trying to ensure Jake makes good choices, and when he does not, to make sure I am aware of his mistakes and ensure he is accountable.
Trying to do this with any self centered teen is a chore in itself, trying to navigate through their world and make a point that resonates but is 50 words or less is next to impossible. But throw some slowed processing skills, a lack of emotional regulation and a heap of anxiety into the mix and it is even more difficult.
The teen brain is not actually fully developed until they are in their early 20's, especially the parts that are usually affected by a concussion, the frontal lobe!I liked this article which explained it in simple terms.
I have to remember this when I am asking Jake why he did something "stupid". It is exactly like asking a toddler why they threw a toy or hit another child. They have no idea why, it just felt right at the time and they really did not even give it a thought!
I will do my best to think of this analogy while we muddle though this trying teen behaviour.
I just wish that we had gotten a bit more breathing room after the panic attacks and school refusal now that he is successfully settled in grade 9 ... a few months of rest would have been nice before dealing with the typical teenage brain! Then again, I am always thankful that his brain is in recovery mode and that we have had all the successes that we have been fortunate to have!
