After persistence and research, we finally received the referral to the Pediatric Brain Injury Clinic at MacMaster Children's Hospital in Hamilton. And much to my surprise we actually got an appointment within 2 weeks! Jake was seen by a pediatric neurologist who kind of reminded me of Mr Rogers. Jake had a rather different way of describing him, but I liked the doctor's manner anyway!
After filling him in on Jake's details, he summed it all up in this way, "it sounds like you have had first hand experience with our 2 year sit and wait health care system". He summed up our experience perfectly! From the first time we visited ROCK (Reach Out Centre for Kids in Burlington) when Jake was 4 and experiencing anxiety to the current situation of having to ask over and over again about additional supports for post concussion syndrome, we have been sent away to sit and wait. The health care system is willing to help you out as fast as they can on your first visit. They give you a portion of their time, listen to your story, give you some resources and coping strategies and send you on your way. Granted, they do say if you are still in need in the future to come back, and they will re-evaluate. But, they are really sending you away to see if things get better. If so, they have done their job and you have been helped. They are streamlining their services, because those who really need the help will come back and those who don't will not.
Time does heal, but not everything. In our case valuable time was wasted and if we had been seen in the Pediatric Head Injury Clinic sooner, we may have been able to reduce Jake's symptoms sooner and avoided being in the situation we are in now, 2 and a half years later.
But, with all that being said, and having been handled as a "sit and wait" situation, I am glad that we are on the right track once again. I am thankful to MMTR Health for eliminating Jake's physical symptoms and now I look forward to understanding what is going on in his brain. He is scheduled for full neuro-pysch assessment in June.
Sunday 25 March 2012
Saturday 10 March 2012
The Bullying Epidemic
As kids we knew about bullying, it happened after school, on the way home, or at the park on the weekend. Bigger kids would pick on little kids, steal their lunch money on route to school, or girls would whisper behind each other's backs and call each other nasty names. It happened, and was not often talked about. Parents rarely got involved, and the schools seemed to turn a blind eye.
But times have changed, and we now know that bullying is damaging to a child's self esteem, having long lasting effects on the victim and is often the cause of childhood depression and even suicide. At the same time we know that we need to address the bully themselves, and look at the reasons behind their behaviour. No one is a bully because they actually enjoy it, they may be doing it in response to the way they are being treated, or trying to gain attention that they do not otherwise get, or they may actually be reaching out in an inappropriate cry for help. As a society we have decided to put an end to bullying. But what does that mean?
Schools have implemented "Zero Tolerance" policies and "Anti Bullying Month", in attempts to enforce their rules as well as teach students morals and values. And yet, for all the preaching, modelling and policy making, bullying has become a huge issue in the school system. Look at this article written in the Burlington Post, summing up several cases over the last few years. And this weekend I found this Editorial in the Burlington Post, which to me, answered exactly why bullying is still such an issue in a few words, " The message relayed by adults is not going to permeate the ears of the bullies; hopefully it’s heard by the victims so they know it’s OK to seek help, and by their peers, who must intervene. Bullying will only become uncool when the anti-bullying movement is student-initiated".
"Bullying will only become uncool when the anti-bullying movement is student-initiated".
That is the answer. Schools have student led committees for "social justice", why not for "peers for positive interaction", or for "banish bullying". If students can take the lead and be passionate about something then they will succeed in spreading that passion and others will buy into it. Thus, you end up with a student body that will not tolerate unkind treatment of others and will stop it in it's tracks.
Of course, teaching those morals and values starts at home, before a 4 year old even walks into the kindergarten playground. However, when you get a group of children from very different backgrounds spending 6 hours a day together, it does become a school issue.
And, to be honest, I am focusing on the schools because we have been let down by the school system with regard to bullying. Jake has been dealing with an aggravating peer since September 2011. That was when Jake's morning routine changed, he went from being anxious about being at school early to wanting to wait in the car until the very last minute. Since September the bullying has morphed into various types of behaviour, the most recent being more underground, with name calling and slanderous comments made to other students and being relayed back to Jake. Now our morning routine is not that of Jake wanting to wait in the car, it is him not wanting to go to school at all. Since January Jake has been refusing to go to school and having panic attacks if we force him to go.
Now, I am not naive. Jake has many other issues he is dealing with, and I cannot blame everything on the situation at school. However, I look back to September, when we first spoke with the principal about wanting to "nip it in the bud" so that we did not go from those changes in routine to school refusal. And yet, here we are now, with Jake being in school half days (if at all), and I am angry that one of the reasons is bullying. If bullying was not an issue maybe he would have been less likely to give up on school.
And what does this have to do with Post Concussion Syndrome? As the neurologist told us, Jake lost his coping skills with his concussions. Which means that where he may have been able to handle the situations at school in the past, now he deals with them by avoidance. So that leaves us with a 13 year old in grade 8 who should be having his best year in elementary school, enjoying the last year with his friends, at the top of the heap...and yet we have a boy who has dissociated himself with the school and his peers, who is counting the days until he graduates with a fresh start in a new high school.
But times have changed, and we now know that bullying is damaging to a child's self esteem, having long lasting effects on the victim and is often the cause of childhood depression and even suicide. At the same time we know that we need to address the bully themselves, and look at the reasons behind their behaviour. No one is a bully because they actually enjoy it, they may be doing it in response to the way they are being treated, or trying to gain attention that they do not otherwise get, or they may actually be reaching out in an inappropriate cry for help. As a society we have decided to put an end to bullying. But what does that mean?
Schools have implemented "Zero Tolerance" policies and "Anti Bullying Month", in attempts to enforce their rules as well as teach students morals and values. And yet, for all the preaching, modelling and policy making, bullying has become a huge issue in the school system. Look at this article written in the Burlington Post, summing up several cases over the last few years. And this weekend I found this Editorial in the Burlington Post, which to me, answered exactly why bullying is still such an issue in a few words, " The message relayed by adults is not going to permeate the ears of the bullies; hopefully it’s heard by the victims so they know it’s OK to seek help, and by their peers, who must intervene. Bullying will only become uncool when the anti-bullying movement is student-initiated".
"Bullying will only become uncool when the anti-bullying movement is student-initiated".
That is the answer. Schools have student led committees for "social justice", why not for "peers for positive interaction", or for "banish bullying". If students can take the lead and be passionate about something then they will succeed in spreading that passion and others will buy into it. Thus, you end up with a student body that will not tolerate unkind treatment of others and will stop it in it's tracks.
Of course, teaching those morals and values starts at home, before a 4 year old even walks into the kindergarten playground. However, when you get a group of children from very different backgrounds spending 6 hours a day together, it does become a school issue.
And, to be honest, I am focusing on the schools because we have been let down by the school system with regard to bullying. Jake has been dealing with an aggravating peer since September 2011. That was when Jake's morning routine changed, he went from being anxious about being at school early to wanting to wait in the car until the very last minute. Since September the bullying has morphed into various types of behaviour, the most recent being more underground, with name calling and slanderous comments made to other students and being relayed back to Jake. Now our morning routine is not that of Jake wanting to wait in the car, it is him not wanting to go to school at all. Since January Jake has been refusing to go to school and having panic attacks if we force him to go.
Now, I am not naive. Jake has many other issues he is dealing with, and I cannot blame everything on the situation at school. However, I look back to September, when we first spoke with the principal about wanting to "nip it in the bud" so that we did not go from those changes in routine to school refusal. And yet, here we are now, with Jake being in school half days (if at all), and I am angry that one of the reasons is bullying. If bullying was not an issue maybe he would have been less likely to give up on school.
And what does this have to do with Post Concussion Syndrome? As the neurologist told us, Jake lost his coping skills with his concussions. Which means that where he may have been able to handle the situations at school in the past, now he deals with them by avoidance. So that leaves us with a 13 year old in grade 8 who should be having his best year in elementary school, enjoying the last year with his friends, at the top of the heap...and yet we have a boy who has dissociated himself with the school and his peers, who is counting the days until he graduates with a fresh start in a new high school.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)