A Prescription Never Filled

I have previously referred to 'losing my son' in my blog.  After hitting his head multiple times in a short time span Jake suffered long term effects and lost certain coping skills that he had before.  He lost the coping skills to deal with the anxiety he had dealt with all of his life. He also lost his ability to regulate his emotions. So when I say we lost him, it was because he was taken over by the anxiety and had turned into someone that we did not recognize.  What was previously manageable anxiety turned into panic attacks and emotional outburst that were out of control.  Some people are able to verbalize their anxiety and will worry aloud.  Others will turn it inward and worry quietly, suffering alone.  But Jake was unable to let us know when the anxiety was building (another skill he had lost, which we found out recently), and would suddenly explode in anger at the slightest thing.  It could have been a change in routine, or a change in plans, an outing being cancelled or a craving for food not being met.   Add to that his general anxiety of going to school and knowing he would struggle there, and you get constant stress. Our lives were in chaos and we did not know where to turn.

We had used medication for anxiety for almost a year and had seen a calmness that was much appreciated.  But when Jake was being treated  at MMTR (with physio specific to PCS) we decided to take him off the meds as they may have been interfering with his brain recovery.  According to several studies the meds may inhibit the body from going into level 4 sleep, restoration mode, which was of utmost importance to Jake's recovery.  So we took a chance and hoped that the anxiety levels had gone down.  We soon realized that they had not, and the anxiety actually seemed to be even worse than ever, manifesting even more as anger and frustration.  I know that it is hard for others to understand how the two can be connected to anxiety but basically the more anxiety Jake felt, the more angry he was.  And to try to gain some control of the anxiety he would try to control the world around him, manipulating and behaving in ways to get his way.  Not that it is an excuse for his behaviour, but he also had lost the skills to control it when he got to a certain point.  That point of no return, when he knew what he was doing but could not stop. He did not like what he was doing, and was always remorseful but he could not seem to get a handle on it.

So, instead of anxiety medications, the neurologist gave me a prescription for Tegretol (carbamazepine), which is used to treat seizures, nerve pain and bipolar disorder. He felt Jake's emotional outbursts were like seizures.  In his words, it would help stabilize Jake's emotions and keep him on an even keel, stopping the flood gates from opening.   It sounded somewhat reasonable, and we all certainly needed the break from those overbearing emotions.  But I never did fill the prescription.  

Instead we visited a homoepath.  A friend of ours had had success with Jason Devine, a homeopath he just happened to go to see,  in desperate need for help with his own anxiety.  
And so far, it has been the best thing we could have done to help Jake. We were so thankful to MMTR for relieving Jake of his physical symptoms and now we had finally found someone to help with his emotional mental health issues.  Jason spent two hours with Jake and I, discussing everything from Jake's early childhood to if his feet were overly smelly. (Apparently that could actually be quite important!).  I can tell you that Jason learnt more about Jake in those 2 hours than any of the doctors, specialists and therapists had been able to get in months! And he gave us some amazing insight into the anxiety, fears and emotional barriers that Jake was experiencing. 
Jake was given a remedy to take once, and then we had to check back in a few weeks.  For a kid that does not like the feeling of having to take a daily pill for his anxiety, the one dose was great!   I also felt better knowing that the philosophy behind the practice was to address the actual issues, not to simply treat and mask the symptoms with medications.

I have to admit it was a slow process, we went through a few doses over several months,  and I pulled out that scrawly handwritten prescription several times in desperation while we waited for the remedy to work its magic.  But it did, and when it did you bet we knew it was working. 
The best way for me to describe it is that Jason had told us that the remedy would direct the body to what was wrong with it and focus on repairing it, starting from the very root of the problem.   And that is what we saw evidence of.  It is a rather personal journey for Jake, but in short we saw him finding old coping skills and ways to calm himself that he had long forgotten.  We saw him acknowledging specific fears and releasing long suppressed emotions that he did not even realize were there.  We saw a new willingness to try things that he previously would not have been able to. He was calmer, happier and more open to talking about what he had been going through.  We saw those walls of protection he had built up around himself start to crack and allow us to see inside, even if just for a glimpse.  


We are still working through the anxiety but there are so many wonderful things that we have witnessed since the homeopathic remedy started working that I wanted to be sure to share it with others.  
There are many different therapies and medications out there for anxiety, or experts that say their therapies will help post concussion syndrome, and yet it is up to individuals to navigate the system and choose what path to take.  We have taken a few different ones, and truly have a new found faith in homeopathy and hope that it will continue to lead us in the right direction.  
Thank you Jason!

 

Jason Devine, Homeopath

2421 - 4 New Street

Burlington

905-634-2581

Jake's Graduation! Closing one chapter of his life for another. Bittersweet.

Certification of Graduation from Grade 8.
It is with both a heavy heart and an open mind that we picked this up from the school last Friday.  With  Jake being informally home schooled since the spring he had the choice to attend graduation or not.  He chose not to.  He never wavered in his decision, feeling that he had left that group of peers behind months ago and was completely disconnected from any school events.  I made sure he was choosing not to go for his own reasons, and not letting anyone dictate what he could and could not do.  I did not want my son missing out on a "milestone of his childhood" because he felt he had to avoid one person, or did not feel welcome.  If he did not want to go it was to be on his terms, not because he felt he could not attend.  I also did not want him to regret his choice later in life.
In his words, "Mom, I have not gone to that school in months, and I don't even hang out with anyone from there.  Why would I want to go?"

Hmmm...I had to think about this afterwards.  Because it is a milestone?  Because it is the right thing to do?  Because it is expected?
But really, those are all self imposed by society, or rather parents and peers.  To many young girls it is a big event, the anticipation of what to wear and months of preparation.  To the boys it is more a matter of finding dress shoes that they are willing to wear with dress pants and a tie.  Maybe even working up the courage to ask a girl for a date.  For parents it is that moment on stage when your child receives their diploma, or the mother and son dance before the parents are sent home at the grad dance.

But for Jake, it would actually have been an anxiety provoking event of little relevance to him. I thought of all the  unknowns he would have had to deal with, the lack of preparation through the school, the questions asked of him by his peers as to his schooling situation etc, etc.  Not to mention the fact that he had no interest in attending.  Jake has never been one to go those Saturday night dances at the youth centre, and would attend the school dances begrudgingly, rarely actually dancing at all.

So this "milestone" was not actually viewed as one by Jake.  His milestones were when he started being invited to wing night with the older BMX guys from the bike park, or when he moves from the "under 14" division in the Toronto BMX competietion to the "15 and up" division.  Or when we meet up with the whole family at the cottage once a year.  These are the things that are important to him and have meaning to him.  Graduation is a piece of paper that symbolizes an end to a difficult few years and a new beginning in the fall.

As a parent I realized I had to let go of my emotional attachment to graduation  and respect Jake's decision.  Knowing that he felt good about moving forward made it easier.  And the fact that they did not have a dance at all, let alone a mother son one!
So it is with this entry that I close the chapter on Jake's elementary school experience and look forward to the challenges of high school!